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A New Pastafarianism

Borrowing heavily from the existing concepts on Pastafarianism and adding a couple of original bits here and there is the new cult of the Flying Spaghetti Monster:

A New Pastafarianism

1. There is only one true religion, the religion of Pastafarianism and anyone who questions it will face the wrath of the holy monster and of pastafarians joining the holy jushades.
+ 1.1 Bobby Henderson was the first prophet.

2. There is only one God, the creator of all things, the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM).
+ 2.1 FSM is supernaturally tasty dish featuring spaghetti and two meatballs.

3. The creation
+ 3.1 FSM was drunk and inebriated while making the world.
+ 3.2 The world initially consisted of a mountain, a tree, and a midgit.
+ 3.3 FSM also created six skies and while he was making the seventh sky something caught his attention and he left the seventh sky half finished. There are six and a half skies as of now.
+ 3.4 Happened just 6 years back in 2005 although it world appears like billions of years old. We all had memories filled in by the FSM for beyond that.

4. Pastafarians
+ 4.1 Were initially all pirates.
+ 4.2 Must dress in pirate regalia while offering their prayers to FSM.
+ 4.3 Must join the jushades whenever Pastafarianism is in danger and show the enemy the strength of spaghetti.

5. The heaven
+ 5.1 Heaven features a stripper factory and a beer volcano. And is WAAAAAY BETTER than the other ones.
+ 5.2 All Pastafarians touched by his invisible noodly appendage go to heaven.



2 responses to “A New Pastafarianism

  1. hotshot bald cop August 30, 2011 at 13:50

    LOL, Are you serious?

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